Velocitygrass (velocitygrass) wrote in mcsheplets,

Challenge #17 RPS ficlet: Living like this. PG-13. Joe/David.

Note: This is RPS.

Title: Living like this
Author: velocitygrass
Pairing: Joe Flanigan/David Hewlett, Joe/Katherine
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: None of this happened. It's all made up, fantasy, not real.
Warnings: Partner Betrayal
Word count: 284
Summary: Joe couldn't live like this.
Note: Thanks to neevebrody for the beta!

Living like this

I cannot live like this.

These words had become Joe's personal mantra ever since the thing with David had started.

Each time he was with David meant betraying his wife and his family. Each time they were together meant he'd have to lie about it to everyone he knew. Each time they continued what they'd started, he felt dragged down by the weight of his own guilt. And yet, each time had been followed by another.

Except the last.

Joe had ended it—again. Because he couldn't live like that. He couldn't take the cheating and lying anymore. He wanted to be able to be honest when his sons called and asked him what he'd been doing. So he'd put an end to it—stopped it, discontinued it, broke it off, so that he could finally start living again.

The only problem was that he couldn't.

Every time he saw David at work, he remembered what it felt like to be inside of him. Every time he caught David looking at him, he saw the want and affection along with resignation. Every time they were alone together, he wanted to reach out to David, touch him and tell him that he missed him.

He couldn't live with the cheating and lying.

But the truth was he couldn't live without David either.

He would have laughed if it had been in any way funny. He wished there was a way out. He wished there was a decision he could make that would solve this. But either way, going back to David—begging for it, if necessary—or remaining strong and faithful, he ended up where he'd begun.

I cannot live like this.
Tags: author: velocitygrass, challenge: 17 - we're not dead!, genre: angst, genre: established relationship, pairing: joe/david, rating: pg-13

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